Mindful Minutes: Emotional regulation

Zoha Qureshi, OK

I used to wake up late for school, something that always made me anxious. I would skip breakfast trying to rush out the door to catch the bus, then spend the rest of the morning feeling disoriented because I didn’t feel put together. By lunchtime, I would be so hangry that everyone was better off giving me at least ten feet of space. This has been a common occurrence throughout my life…  just replace school with some random adult responsibility now. 

Alhamdulillah, through both my degree and studying Islam, I’ve reached a point where this happens less often, and even when it does, I’m better able to calm myself down.

When we look deeply into techniques that help with emotional regulation, they align closely with Islamic teachings. There are the basics: sleep, hydration, nourishing food, sunlight, and movement. When the body is cared for, emotional regulation becomes easier, and we are less likely to struggle with physical or mental states that intensify emotional overwhelm. This is already embedded within Islam. We are taught to care for our bodies and treat our health as an amanah from Allah.

After physical health, I personally believe the next step is stillness and reflection, taking pauses throughout the day to disconnect from the constant hustle of life. When we intentionally slow down, it becomes easier to handle stress because we have given our minds space to breathe. A rested mind is less likely to become overwhelmed.

Alhamdulillah, as Muslims, we already have built-in moments of meditation through salah. When we pray with khushu, we give our hearts and minds a break from everything weighing on us. If we need more pauses in our day, we add more prayer. If we need longer pauses, we lengthen our prayer.

Much of modern psychological education around emotional regulation focuses on staying present and not becoming overtaken by emotions. Islam teaches us the same. A believer lives in the present moment. We are taught not to become consumed by worry over tomorrow, but to focus on today and place our trust in Allah. When anger rises, we are taught to make wudhu or change our position — practical grounding techniques that bring us back into the moment.

As Muslims, we live collectively. In order to contribute to a healthy ummah and maintain deep, loving relationships, we have to learn how to regulate our emotions so we do not harm those around us. As spouses, parents, friends, and community members, we cannot take our frustrations out on those who have rights over us.

The first step toward emotional regulation is intentional prayer. Salah creates space for us to process our emotions with Allah before they spill onto others. It teaches us to pause, reflect, soften, and return to a place of balance with the One who created our hearts.

May Allah SWT help us all regulate our emotions in ways that please HIm. May he make us role models and guides for those still working on emotional regulations. May he protect us and the ones we love from damage from emotional outbursts.